Newbie soprano Sunny, takes us on her journey from frightened to (almost) fearless and describes what her first – ‘cherry popping’ – performance with the Pinkies was like following our recent concert at Cadogan Hall, ‘Sing!’.
Last year, I realised I was frightened. What a sorry state of affairs! Frightened of everything (except the things that scare normal people, like perilous heights, jumping into roaring oceans, spiders, and letting people down by being late). Frightened mostly of life and whether it was stuck rotating like a scratched record of Edith Piaf growling a lowish note to a sad song.
Today, I’m feeling mildly (but not very) self-congratulatory, because Frightened isn’t my word any more. I don’t know what is. Blank-page? Expectant? (not in a mother-type way, mind), Wondering? Bumbling? Silly? Fun-loving‘s back on the menu. But not on its own. I feel lifey again though.
I bloody did it. I stood on a big stage with my lovely big gay choir, and sung the heck out of some big gay songs. And it didn’t even feel monumental, it just felt like performing’s what I do, and this was a lovely new community to be part of, and here I was and it was good.
My Pinkies journey began a few years ago when I sat in a lovely comfy seat in the beautiful Cadogan Hall, and watched my friend Alex sing with them. At the time I was struck by the quality of the performance, and also keenly aware that I was not yet comfortable with labelling myself as LGBT+ by joining.
But, my journey continued, and the time became right, and I auditioned. It was still a big step for me, and I was really nervous and pretending really hard that I wasn’t overwhelmed. In many ways, I was on familiar ground – I’m used to joining musical groups and getting on with new people and learning songs. But I was stepping out into new territory from a cultural perspective, and learning as I went.
I have been really impressed by many things, but I’ll mention two in particular. Firstly, the concerted effort that the choir and committee made to welcome new members – clearly thought had gone into it, and we were made to feel a valued part of the community so quickly. (It helps that there’s a big crew that go to the pub after rehearsal too.) We were given bits and pieces to do in the songs, stood in prominent positions, and welcomed warmly. Secondly, the number of people that volunteer their time and talents to make the Pinkies function so well, in so many different ways. This really is a community.
The build up to the concert was massively exciting, but the day itself was amazing. And long! I was hosting a lovely French chanteuse called Martine who was part of our guest choir Equivox, and somehow we arrived at The Cadogan on time, in spite of my propensity for being late, and eating Pain au Chocolat for breakfast (just trying to make her feel at home…. ).
Then there was a very smooth tech run – I’m used to the theatre where people always end up shouting at each other, but there was no hint of that here. And then about 90 minutes of crazy mayhem with about 60 Sopranos and Altos from two choirs squidged into a dressing room, and much flailing of hair-curling tongs and requests to borrow the liquid eye-liner, and “where’s my flower?” yelled across the morass. Then some bizarre ceremony for us newbies involving cherries and photographs and we were off!
The concert itself. I didn’t think I was nervous as I’m used to going on stage. But then I forgot the words in the second song for a few seconds and realised I was. Unsurprising – I think I was internalising what the occasion was. I had my parents in the audience, many friends who’ve held my hand on my journey, and my church group, yelling and waving like the crazy loons that they are. And I just went for it – hit the moves, hold your head up high, concentrate on Murray and let rip! It was brilliant – the audience reaction at the end like nothing I’ve experienced before. Woohooooo!
Then there was a very sedate after show party….. Oh ok, perhaps the truth is that at one point I accidently twirled an Equivox choir member violently onto the floor in a dance-off to Hairspray’s You Can’t Stop The Beat. Oops. Je suis desolee.
We start rehearsals for the next Pinkies season in two weeks. I can’t wait to get back. I’ve found this brilliant group of people, remembered how much joy singing brings, and I’m excited to be a part of it. To quote a Christian song I like: The sun comes up it’s a new day dawning, it’s time to sing your song again.
To see more photos from our concert, please click here. 🙂
Timeline datestamp: 14 January 2017